Wednesday July 13... And to even more miraculous destinations...

...Although we were so happy to be accepted into a place like Johns Hopkins, & so quickly, & have the bloodless team there on our side,.. questions still worried us- Will they still feel surgery is the answer? If not, what treatments are we going to have to deal with.. and if so, how far out must we wait for the surgery? Will there be more tests that require more wait time, & will they be painful, invasive?.. The unknown is always so scary.. Maybe that's also why I've always been afraid of the dark,.. and, despite that I lived near the ocean, & directly on creeks, rivers, & bays most of my life, afraid of swimming in large bodies water..

...We left much earlier than we needed to for the 1 hour 45 minute drive.. I prayed silently most of the way.. What if there was traffic? What if there was an accident? What if we couldn't find parking? What if something happened that caused us to miss this appointment? After all, it is downtown Baltimore.... And yep, traffic stunk. And yep, downtown Baltimore stunk. And yep, finding parking was stressful. And yep, you have to get in line at Johns Hopkins for a wrist band from security & maneuver that gigantic building & their high-tech (but cool!) check-in kiosks.. But we still got to where we needed to be with time to spare.. They even took us back early to my patient room.. Then I had a new set of worries-- Brother P. will be looking for us, they took us back before he & I were scheduled to meet.. Matt's forgot his snack & his blood sugar will be dropping.. And on & on.. And I of course had to look around & memorize every single pointless detail of the room.. My mind exhausts me.. When Matt & I weren't talking, I was praying.. Yes I even prayed for Matt's blood sugar..

...After the nurse took my vitals, a medical student came in to ask all the basic questions & enter my information into their computer system.. She was very familiar with the bloodless program.. That was reassuring.. And she was so sweet, so young & vibrant, cheery & full of life.. You might call her 'perky'.. It made Matt roll his eyes a little bit.. (probably just his blood sugar affecting his mood ;) ).. But I thought, what a breath of fresh air.. Everyone in the medical field should have that personality & exude that positivity..

...After some time, there was a knock at the door, & a nurse let in Brother P.. What a welcome sight to see a spiritual brother!.. No matter where you go, when you see one of your spiritual brothers or sisters, it is a comfort.. He was kind & lighthearted, he put us at ease.. Taking turns, the med student & Brother P. asked their needed questions.. Brother P appreciated that we had already done our homework, came in well-informed, & that I knew exactly what blood alternatives I would & would not accept,.. made his job easier & made things pretty quick.. I signed some paperwork & they both went on their way.. He'll continue to be part of the process through every appointment & the surgery..

...We waited for over an hour after that for the doctor.. Of course, true to my nature, I memorized every single detail of the room several times over, finding new things to subconsciously analyze each time.. We talked, held hands, rested our eyes, made jokes.. I said silent prayers several times over about my concerns.. We really couldn't complain about the wait- it was miraculous that they could fit us in next-day..

...The doctor & med student knocked (my heart jumped) & walked in.. We pretty much immediately liked him.. When we had received his name the day before, I had done some research on him- extremely impressive expertise,.. Yep, he's pretty much a total rawkstar... 'director of surgical innovations and the robotic surgery program'... 'a particular focus on developing innovative techniques for robotic surgery'... 'has co-authored more than 30 articles in peer-reviewed medical journals and has lectured nationally and internationally on sentinel lymph node techniques, uterine sarcoma and surgical innovations'...... Just a few tidbits of his insane levels of expertise- on his Johns Hopkins profile, you'll be scrolling forever through his qualifications, honors, publishings, etc. How in the world did they get us in to this guy next-day!... But impressive expertise doesn't mean you will automatically actually like the doctor's manner.. Well, we liked his manner too.. Young, fresh, detailed, knowledgeable, serious yet lighthearted in his manner of speaking, talks to you respectfully yet in a manner that you feel like you already know him, unrushed, attentive, thorough..

...New surgery date July 25... Same surgery, still removing just as much, but different technique, & additional ingenius precautionary measures that will ensure that nothing at all is missed & that will be better for my health if I should need radiation after, or even at anytime in the rest of my life.. Did I mention I'll get to say I've had robotic surgery?.. You see that surgery robot thingy in the picture there, where he's at the controls & the robot itself is at the table behind him where it would actually do the surgery? Yeah, that's mine...  Dr Edward J Tanner. Look him up. Rawkstar.

...We walked out of their feeling so much more informed & prepared.. He's still performing a radical hysterectomy (removing my uterus, cervis, upper vagina, parametria, fallopian tubes (ovarian cancer starts in the fallopian tubes- remove the tubes, remove the possibility of ovarian cancer without removing the ovaries themselves for no reason, & therefore keep the hormonal & cardiovascular benefits of them- who knew!), & lymph nodes, & additionally performing an ovarian transposition (moving one of my ovaries up out of the pelvic region- in the case I should need radiation after, or ever throughout the rest of my life, that ovary will be clear of it & will remain saved), & additionally performing sentinel lymph node mapping (a new & cutting edge technique that only 3 hospitals currently have available (wow!) in which, before removing the lymph nodes, they can identify which ones were at risk of the cancer spreading to first in order for those to be more closely tested to make sure that absolutely no cancer is missed).. He also ordered a Pet scan to make sure in advance that the cancer has not metastasized anywhere else. Fortunately I had already had my pre-op testing done (ekg, bloodwork, xray) as ordered by my former oncologist Dr R, so they could already use everything I had.. How did we get this magnitude of a blessing of everything coming together this wonderfully!..

...He was respectful of our beliefs & my non-negotiable bloodless choice.. It is a make-or-break for me.. No exceptions.. I think changing doctors & hospitals proves that.. He believes that as long as a patient is informed of what their choice actually means, the risks & benefits, he whole-heartedly supports their choice.. Well, when a patient who has never been in the medical field walks in already knowing what things like hemodilution, cell savage, blood fraction types, etc, are,  I'd say we could reassure him we are fully informed.. We are grateful to have been given a hospital that cares more about their patients' choices than their own..

...So, a sooner surgery, less invasive, more precise than even laproscopic, better recovery time, shorter hospital stay, a surgery type with practically no blood loss, the assistance of an entire  bloodless surgery team, getting a next-day appointment into an impossible-to-get-into-in-less-than-several-weeks-minimum hospital that happens to be ranked the 3rd best in the entire nation, getting assigned to truly what seems to be the best possible & most qualified oncology surgeon EVER... In addition to the sheer impossible timing of finding & diagnosing the cancer.. We feel so amazingly taken care of by our amazing God Jehovah, there is NO other possible way that this could have all come together, & so quickly, & so perfectly.. So many 'impossibles' made possible.. And when we took our stand on an issue of faith,.. the outcomes have been simply even more miraculous..  Feeling so so so taken care of & watched over.. & grateful..

...Yes, I am sitting here with cancer & I'm grateful..

--Psalm 23:1, 4-- "Jehovah is my Shepherd. I shall lack nothing... Though I walk in the valley of deep shadow, I fear no harm, for you are with me..."
--Psalm 31:3-- "For you are my crag and my stronghold; For the sake of your name, you will lead me and guide me."
--Matthew 6:27, 32b,33-- "Who of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span?..Your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. Keep on, then, seeking first the Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you."