...After signing in & being given paperwork, I was sent to radiology.. It was confusing.. The small waiting room was full, with at least 15-20 people.. There were 3 women behind a counter at partitioned desks facing the waiting room, but I do not know what they were there for.. As I approached each one, they did not look up.. Finally, the one in the middle partition distractedly said, 'Can I help you'.. I said, "I'm sorry, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to give these to you or..." I showed her my papers.. Glancing at the front of them without even bringing them to her, she said, 'Yeah ok have a seat', as if it was pointless for me to have approached.. I assumed at that point that there was no further check in needed from what I had already done (but I'm not a mind reader, lady. It's not like I do this all the time).. I obediently took a seat in one of the maybe 3 chairs left available.. For the 45 minutes I waited, I never did see the point of those 3 women being there.. They talked loudly amongst themselves, constantly wrote on paperwork, & perhaps 3 times spoke on the phone.. What an odd arrangement..
...I had prayed in advance to be alert to any opportunity to have a Bible discussion,.. & then to have the courage to grasp it.. It's something I'm working on being better at-- informal settings.. I've had to get used to the fact that the thought of initiating will forever make me sweat nervously & my heart race.. I had some Bible material ready in my purse.. I was going to have a lot of waiting time.. Plus looking & listening for an opportunity gave me something to concentrate on,.. although it was hard to concentrate, period, with the hustle & bustle of so much going on with that amount of people in such a tiny space- people coming & going, papers rustling, baby noises, a man slurping a barium drink to prep for his procedure, phone dial pad beeps & boops as people texted & IM'd, children's voices (something about video games), the TV talking (something about tv interviews & sewing projects), & seemingly a million conversations going on at the same time that my brain was subconsciously trying to process separately despite my consciously trying not to.. My easily over-stimulated mind operates against my will.. This is precisely why I leave public places completely exhausted..
...Different radiology tests were being called from different doorways.. I had no idea where my name would be called from.. I started reading the packet of papers that I was given at check-in to give to... someone (I still didn't know who yet).. for the scan, & became intrigued to see that they included detailed notes from the consultations w/ Dr Tanner, his med student & Brother P..
(The scribbles on the photo are my own, to block out private info) These were a few tidbits included in the notes taken down by the med student.. I was impressed that, even though they have all of the forms I filled out about it & a copy of my DPA, she still included in the notes my bloodless alternative choices & had understood the depth of what I was saying.. I always worry that I do not express myself clearly enough, but it is clear that I was completely & utterly understood.. And then to see the last 2 sentences in that top paragraph......... I was surprised to find that instead of being afraid or nervous upon reading it stated so directly, I felt a wave of peace, & my heart welled with appreciation.. Appreciation at this opportunity I've been given to show my God where I stand on such a vital issue, that I stand on HIS side, that His commands regarding blood at scriptures such as Genesis 9:4 & Acts 15:20 mean that much to me... And I thought of Proverbs 27:11.. I pray that through all of this I always make Jehovah 'rejoice' & make him proud & add to His reasons 'to reply' to the one who 'taunts' Him..
..I suddenly remembered that I'd received a few texts & messages over the last few days that I'd forgotten to respond to (what is wrong with my disorganized-more-than-ever brain), so I brought out my phone to respond (with the sounds OFF-- sorry, that should be commonly-understood waiting room etiquette, but that's another story).. Then I figured it would be a good time to do some Bible reading on my phone.. Gotta love that app..
...The waiting room had slowly dwindled down to just 3 people.. Could this be an opportunity to speak to someone?.. None of them were sitting near me in order to converse quietly.. One was reading a newspaper, sneaking Skittles from a bag she had hidden.. (There is a huge sign before you walk in that food was prohibited to be respectful of those that were under required fasting for their testing... How rude.. One side of my brain was h'angry.. But the other brain side tried to defend her-- maybe she was diabetic or hypoglycemic & medically needed the sugar...) The other 2 waiting started a conversation.. One was waiting for the person she came with to come back from a shoulder injection w/ xray.. The other was waiting for his wife to come back from a Pet scan.. I listened quietly.. He had just had a Pet scan last week himself.. He was a lung cancer survivor for 4 years when it was discovered it had come back.. Now his wife was in for one- something had been found & she was in for the first time.. like me.. The lady he was talking to was a 10-year cancer survivor.. My heart beat quicker as I looked for a way to join the conversation without seeming rude.. Then, my name was called..
...The technician told me her name.. I don't remember it.. But she was nice.. We walked down & around the hallways, finally going out a security door.. Ah, the mobile unit.. As we approached, I stepped onto a hydraulic lift.. It lifted me up several feet & stopped.. Half of the mobile unit side wall then slowly motored up, like a fancy high-tech garage door.. I saw an office straight inside with computers, image monitors & cabinets.. We stepped off the lift inside.. To the left was the Pet scan room.. To the right was a little room with 2 medical recliners separated by a partition.. In one recliner was an older gentleman.. I smiled at him.. He looked sleepy.. The technician led me to the other chair on the other side of the partition.. She ran an IV, flushed it, gave me the injection, & flushed it again.. Now we just had to wait 45 minutes for the solution to get through my system.. (I wasn't really sure how it worked until I researched it later.. Pet scans show cell activity. The cancer cells eat up the solution at a higher rate than any other cells, which causes a contrast on the screen-- scientifically fascinating!).. She leaned my recliner back & offered me a blanket.. Might be odd, but I felt a bit pampered..
Oh yeah, & I can't be around any small children or pregnant women for the next 10 hours-- I will be slightly radioactive.. *insert X-files music here*...
...I looked around quietly, memorizing every detail of the room.. I looked in my purse, & put my hand on a "Will Suffering Ever End?" tract.. Still hoping & praying for an opportunity to speak to someone today, I was determined not to let the right opportunity pass by.. And what a perfect subject & comforting scriptures inside-- wouldn't someone going through, or being tested for, cancer be thinking about such a subject?.. And we had 45 minutes to burn, so..... But all I could see was my room buddy's feet.. He was laying there so quietly.. And he had looked so sleepy when we came in, as if we may have woken him.. It would be kind of weird to break the silence, especially if he really was napping.. What would I say? "Ahem, excuse me sir, are you awake?"... Yeah, that would be weird..
...I was still contemplating when the technician came in & let him know it was time for him to go in.. So, away they went.. About 10 minutes later, another technician brought in a middle-aged woman, who was happily chattering away.. I listened to their animated conversation, amused.. After getting my new room buddy all situated, on the way out the technician asked her if she needed anything.. The woman said, "Yeah, can I have a cheese steak?".. I & the technician both laughed.. I said, "Hey I'm starving too, can I have some of that?".. We all laughed.. Both I & my room buddy were indeed starving-- it was after 2:00 at this point & neither of us had eaten since around 7:00am..
...After the technician left, the room grew silent again.. My new room buddy was so petite that I couldn't even see her feet past the partition.. I felt like I had failed when I didn't find the right opportunity to speak to my former room buddy, so I prayed again & explained to Jehovah why it was so awkward to initiate a discussion with a partition separating us & asked Him if it was His will that I have a Bible discussion with this woman today, could He please maybe have her peek around the partition,.. or at least start talking first........ Suddenly, I hear her say, "All of the people here are sooo nice, I just love it here."...
...We went on to have quite a nice conversation.. We couldn't see each other, but we could hear each other.. She asked about my type of cancer, & told me about hers,.. & then explained each of the people in her life that were going through some type of it themselves.. And on top of that, her husband just died a month ago.. This was her second Pet scan.. Her first had revealed lung cancer.. She'd been through several months of chemo & radiation.. The scan she was in for today was to check if the treatment was working.. She said she believed in the Lord.. I told her that I did too, & was it ok if I gave her something that I thought she might like.. I reached the Bible tract to the edge of the partition.. She said, "Oh, sure, thank you!" & I felt her take it.. I told her that I found those particular scriptures comforting, & hoped that she would too.. We went on to have a lovely discussion about prophecy & God's promises, & I was looking for a way to mention the website & Bible study arrangement when the technician came in to tell me it was time for me to go in for the scan.. I told the woman I enjoyed meeting her & I hoped she received good news today.. I got to briefly see her face as we walked by to leave the room.. She told me the same & added, "God's got you," pointed, & winked.. I didn't see her again after..
...The older gentleman was just walking out of the scan room as I was being led in.. I saw on the computer monitors that his scan was of his brain..
...The technician was thrilled that I came prepared in the manner I was dressed.. I had figured if it was anything like the CT or MRI that I've have before, then metal was probably a no-no. So, I wore a type of pants without a zipper or buckle, & my bra wasn't underwire. So, I didn't have to change into a gown.. She settled me in comfortably & covered me with a blanket & asked me to raise my arms over my head for the duration of the 25 minute scan.. The table moved back & forth in the tunnel at varying times & speeds.. I had to resist my natural tendency to want to move my head & look around at everything.. Halfway through, my shoulders began to ache terribly with my arms still plastered above my head.. By the end of the scan, when I was helped to sit up, I realized that the whole top of both of my arms had fallen asleep.. When I walked out of the scan room, I tried to glance at the computer monitors to see what my scan looked like, but of course I couldn't make sense of it..
...Relief.. The ordered pre-op Pet scan is done.. All the hoop-jumping, phone calls, & paperwork in order to get it,.. all the worrying about it being too late to receive a soon enough appointment before the surgery.. And then Jehovah helped me face my nerves & blessed my determination to share Bible encouragement with someone today.. It was a good day..
...3:30.. As soon as I got home, I stuffed my face.. I can't remember the last time I was that hungry.. The relief & the blood sugar crash collapsed me exhausted on the couch immediately after.. Although I didn't fall asleep, as it was almost time to start dinner & evening activities, the rest of the day is a blur..
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